I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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