We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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