he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
