I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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