Will you blow on my dice?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
