i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
