his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
