i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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