hotel room ftw
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
