i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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