Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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