You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
