you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
