we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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