i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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