some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
where are you?
Hypothermia
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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