Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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