What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
