You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
