I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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