btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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