It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
