We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
