its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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