there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
