Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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