I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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