im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
