her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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