I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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