i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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