they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize