i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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