Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
