I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
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