I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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