for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
