i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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