If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
