uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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