? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
