Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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