Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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