i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
