are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
