I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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