Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
it glows. i had to have it.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
