guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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