hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
