They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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