We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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