the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
