I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
