i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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