No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
