i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
