you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
