People in love make me want to vomit
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
