Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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