if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
