it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
