wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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