just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Found your dick twin last night
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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